Battering Within Same-Sex Relationships
Because of a growing openness about homosexual- ity, a predictable rediscovery was that physical fight- ing can mar the intimate relationships between gay men and also between lesbians. Violence in gay and lesbian couples is suspected to occur about as fre- quently as within heterosexual relationships, afflict- ing between 25 percent and 35 percent of same-sex couples (McClennen, 2005; see also Little and Terrance, 2010). Similarly, teens in same-sex rela- tionships experience violence at levels comparable to heterosexual teenagers. About 10 percent report sustaining physical assaults by a dating partner (Futures Without Violence, 2011). Across the country during 2011, 2012, and 2013, about 20 people known to be involved in lesbian, gay, bisex- ual, and transgender relationships were murdered by an intimate partner. Most (about 75 percent) of the deceased were gay men (NCAVP, 2014).
Violence within lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender couples often is unacknowledged and underreported. Victims might be reluctant to turn to the authorities for help because they fear being “outed.” As a result, they might have to turn to programs intended to assist victims of hate crimes
such as gay bashings committed by strangers. Often, police departments don’t train their officers to intercede effectively when same-sex couples quar- rel. When members of the gay/lesbian/bisexual/ transgender community filed complaints about assaults by their intimate partners, only about half considered the officers’ responses to be “courte- ous”; about one-fifth characterized the police as revealing “hostile” attitudes, and the rest described the reaction they received as “indifferent.” Of the battered lesbians seeking shelter, one-fifth were turned away, according to a 2013 survey by an anti-violence coalition (NCAVP, 2014). In general, when compared to the experiences of heterosexual women, violence within lesbian relationships is less likely to be reported, less likely to be prosecuted, and more likely to be disregarded by service agen- cies as well as the general public (see Little and Terrance, 2010).
However, some progress has been made to enable injured parties to come out of the closet and identify themselves to the authorities in order to receive the protection and assistance they are entitled to: Anti-sodomy laws that criminalized cer- tain acts between same-sex couples have been repealed in most jurisdictions, and domestic vio- lence statutes in most states have been reworded to a gender-neutral formulation that applies to all intimate partners seeking governmental help (Tesch et al., 2010; and English, 2011).
Understandably, the LGBT community ini- tially was reluctant to publicly concede that partner abuse took place for two reasons. Some feared that revealing the prevalence of the problem would feed negative stereotypes and fuel homophobia. Others were concerned that the discovery of violence in female–female relationships (as well as male–male relationships) would undercut the women’s move- ment’s continuing struggle for equality and justice because it would necessitate a rethinking about the root causes of violence against women. Battering by partners could no longer be viewed as simply the result of deep-seated and long-standing gender inequalities derived from patriarchal traditions of male dominance over females. Violence between intimates would have to be reconceptualized as an
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outgrowth of the way power and privilege are exercised in any and all romantic relationships (see Island and Letellier, 1991; Renzetti, 1992; King, 1993; Haugrud, Gratch, and Magruder, 1997; Burke, 1998; Cruz and Firestone, 1998; Jackson, 1998; McClennen, 2005; and Tesch et al., 2010).
PREVENTING BATTERING
Preventing battering means halting any further abuse of those who have already suffered beatings, as well as heading off the eruption of violence before it starts.
Occasional outbursts of physical abuse by hus- bands or boyfriends, and sometimes by wives or girl- friends, is considered ordinary. For this type of relationship aggression, secondary prevention programs attempt to teach high-risk couples nego- tiation skills and anger management techniques.
To rescue women from men who consistently use force to maintain control over them is more difficult and dangerous and requires much more
than just couples counseling. Battered women’s shelters and orders of protection are needed for the victims, and arrest and prosecution are necessary interventions to restrain the assailants. As always, reliance on criminal justice solutions may bring about temporary relief in certain abusive relation- ships and might even solve particular conflicts within some families. But working to cure abusers one at a time and helping each of their victims to recover does not address the root causes of the problem. Primary prevention programs are intended to head off a resort to physical force by refuting myths, challenging stereotypes, and chang- ing the attitudes held by large numbers of potential victimizers and victims, starting with high school students (see Arriaga and Capezza, 2005; and Rhatigan, Moore, and Street, 2005). Unfortu- nately, many existing prevention programs, as well as other apparently pro-victim measures such as mandatory arrest policies and aggressive prosecu- tion, have not been effective, according to the many evaluations carried out by criminologists and victimologists (see Mears and Visher, 2005).
SUMMARY
Victims of domestic violence face many special problems that require special solutions. They still have to contend with old-fashioned views that what goes on behind closed doors between lovers is nobody else’s business. The most obvious special problem is that intimate partners are exposed to constant danger because they live in the same homes as their attackers, are usually emotionally and financially dependent upon them, and often are raising children together. Assailants are often viewed as otherwise law-abiding and upstanding members of the community, so victims are likely to be blamed or to fault themselves for the ugly flare-ups. If they have children in common, bat- tered women run the risk of losing parental con- trol over them if the violence takes place in front of them, or if the estranged father is better off financially and seeks joint custody or even sole custody. If the conflict festers, it may escalate to
the point that one partner or the other gets seri- ously injured or killed.
Researchers are investigating controversial contentions: that the injured parties did something provocative that incited the violent outburst, that low-income families are troubled at a higher rate than higher-income couples, and that the degree of suffering couldn’t be too serious because many victims don’t try to leave the abusive relationship.
Reliable statistics about the incidence and prev- alence of being beaten by a lover are lacking, so a maximalist–minimalist debate rages over the true extent and seriousness of the problem. The debate has become politicized because so much is at stake: relations between the sexes; courtship practices; ideas about romance and marriage; views about the proper role of government intervention; and clashing perspectives about which policies are genuinely “pro-family” and “pro-woman.”
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Special problems always require special solutions. To reduce intimate partner violence, shelters have been set up across the country as places of refuge for women and their young children. Specialized domes- tic violence courts have been established in some jur- isdictions. The judges who work there are experts in diagnosing the problems and are familiar with the available range of protective and treatment options. Courts can issue restraining orders, and physically
abusive mates can be arrested and sent to anger man- agement programs. Special problems faced by parents harmed by their adolescent children, elderly people abused and exploited by their grown children, and gay or lesbian victims assaulted by their lovers require even more creative solutions.