REMEMBERING AN EVENT
Write a few sentences indicating how useful it is for you to outline the story in this way. Describe another way of outlining the story if you think that it would be more useful.
Vivid Description of People
Writers of remembered event essays typically describe people sparingly, using just a few choice details. For example, Brandt names her relatives but never describes them; although she does mention looking into her parents’ eyes, she doesn’t describe their expressions. The only person she describes is the store detective: a “middle- aged man, dressed in street clothes, flashing some type of badge” (par. 5). Dillard, on the other hand, gives us brief descriptions of several neighborhood boys: “Mikey and Peter — polite blond boys,” as well as the other boys “from across Reynolds, where the boys grew up dark and furious, grew up skinny, knowing, and skilled” (par. 4). As you’ve discovered in analyzing how she describes the man who chased her and Mikey, Dillard’s description is brief but vivid.
To analyze how Ellis describes his father, do the following:
Reread the following two brief descriptions, underlining the objects being described and putting brackets around the words and phrases that describe them (detailing such things as the color, shape, size, and appearance of the objects):
It wasn’t until my father opened the door that I realized something terrifyingly life-altering was about to be revealed. Always movie-star handsome, he looked older than I had remembered him, and his light green eyes had gone dull. (par. 5)
When I showed up, my father’s eyes were Caribbean clear, yet huge and eerily calm, though it was hard to see the rest of his face through all the white tape and the plastic tubing. (par. 21)
Write a couple of sentences reflecting on the dominant impression created by these two descriptions, pointing out the naming and detailing that stands out for you.