Developing Self-Regulation and Problem-Solving Skills

Developing Self-Regulation and Problem-Solving Skills

Learning to make decisions is a developmental process. With young toddlers, you make sure there are several baby dolls, for example, because deciding to share is not something we expect from them yet. You might, however, give the same toddler two equally acceptable choices for snack. The child must choose one and set aside the other and thus begins to understand what making a choice means. Since toddlers are also typically beginning to understand the power of the word no, the two-choice strategy can be very helpful when they refuse to do something. When we tell the child who refuses to put on his shoes that he can put them on now and go outside to play immediately or sit with you and watch his friends play until he puts them on, we let him know he has a choice but that no isn’t one of them. Thus a power struggle is avoided.

If you want children to see themselves as problem solvers as they get older, then you have to intentionally teach them how to resolve conflicts in a way they can manage themselves. Let’s say you observe two children arguing over what to do next while building a block structure. Telling the children what to do next eliminates any opportunity for them to make a decision. Instructing them to “use your words” to solve the problem is also useless if they don’t understand what that means. However, if you model and practice a conflict-resolution process as a regular part of your curriculum and set aside a designated place for problem solving, with a special name such as the peace table or problem-solving spot, you can turn over control for resolving the issue to them with a reasonable expectation that they will be successful.