The Cycle of Domestic Violence
Walker (1979) first proposed the cycle of violence as a way to examine and explain the cycle of abuse that occurred in domestic violence, including child abuse as well as IPV. The cycle of violence, as briefly described in the last section, is the cycle that the perpetrator and victim go through that lead to the violent event.
Domestic violence is not a one-time event but follows the cycle shown above. Advocates for breaking domestic abuse discuss breaking this cycle, as well as the intergenerational cycles of abuse. Image: Cycle of Abuse. Authored by: Avanduyn. Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e4/Cycle_of_Abuse.png. License: CC-0
The first phase is tension building. For example, the perpetrator begins to pick on the victim about small things and is demeaning to the victim. Tension then escalates to threats, isolation, and arguing. The abuser feels like
they are losing control of the situation, and the tension builds as the abuser tries to regain control of the situation. The victim tries to calm the perpetrator, complies with their request(s), and tries to make them happy in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. Eventually the perpetrator feels so out of control the incident occurs. The incident might be verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. The abuse, and the fear it creates, is a tool that allows for future forms of manipulation and control. It is often after the abusive incident that a victim will leave, although that is not often after the first cycle, as there is still hope that this was a one-time event. With each cycle, the level of fear becomes a counterweight to their desire to leave the relationship. In addition, blaming the victim for what happened is a powerful tool. For example, if the victim just did as the perpetrator asked, then there would never be another incident, so it’s the victim’s fault. This emotional manipulation and destruction of self-esteem are reasons why victims end up staying in an abusive relationship. In addition, lack of resources, social isolation, and fear of revenge by the perpetrator, are other factors as to why the victims stay. The fear of revenge is important as most domestic violence homicides happen as the victim is leaving the relationship (Derose et al., 2005).
Themaking up or reconciliation phase occurs right after the incident and is associated with a state of calm in the relationship. During this period, the victim may receive presents from the perpetrator to make up for the abuse. In this phase, victims often say things like, “it wasn’t that bad,” and start to excuse the offender’s behaviors. The victim may also take responsibility for the event during this phase. Denial can play an important part of this phase for both parties. They might deny how serious the event was because they are both happy during this phase.
During the calm phase, or honeymoon phase, the victim will do their best to be the “ideal’ partner, and often early in this phase the perpetrator seems to be pleased. Depending on other factors, like financial stability, dynamics of the relationship, as well as other relationships outside the home, the length of the calm phase can vary. Eventually, the abuser will begin to build tensions again, which results in starting the cycle over. Over the course of the relationship the honeymoon phase may become shorter or nonexistent. In addition, the cycle may increase in frequency and tension and violence may increase.
Intergenerational cycles of abuse, also known as transgenerational abuse, is the abuse passed from one generation to the next (Walker, 1999). Several factors increase the likelihood of being an abuser, including the length of time the abuse occurs, the severity of the abuse, and feeling unwanted or unloved (Goldman, 1989). Around 30 percent of mistreated children become abusers (Widom, Czaja, & DuMont, 2015). Children raised in a living situation where abuse is common can perceive it as normal and possibly as an indication of being loved. Growing up in an abusive home sets the potential for that child to grow up and become either an abuser or the victim of abuse, thus passing it on to their children. DeGregorio (2013) pointed out that abuse at a young age can impact brain development, which is something that practitioners who are working to end the cycle of abuse need to account for in their treatment plans.
Although being abused does not necessarily mean someone will become an abuser, it does increase their odds of becoming abusive (Millett, Kohl, Jonson-Reid, Drake, & Petra, 2013; Widom, Czaja, & DuMont, 2015). Also, Abajobir et al. (2017) found that the odds of physical IPV victimization were significantly higher in children who had experienced physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect and emotional abuse, compared to those who did not experience abuse. Breaking the cycle of violence is an important strategy to combat future domestic violence.