Working with Families of School-Age Children 99
I t’s the first day of kindergarten for Daniel. He’s been to preschool and now he is in “real school.” He’s five years old and he’s a little scared. His mother senses his fear—an unsettled feeling that wasn’t eased by the orientation the week before. She too is having some qualms. This is nothing like the small, informal setting of the pre- school and its cozy play yard with grass, dirt, and a tricycle path circling a little play house. This is school and it’s big and hard—in more senses than one. Out beyond the kindergarten room is a playground with crowds of screaming children running around. Mother and son reach the door. A bell rings and the screaming crowd heads toward the building. The mother says good-bye and opens the door. She leans over for a kiss, but Daniel, looking embarrassed, turns away and walks inside, and the door shuts behind him. That closed door makes Daniel’s mother want to weep. Her son is growing up. He doesn’t need her like he used to. She feels shut out of his life. She turns and walks away.
That’s one scenario—here’s another. Mia and her younger sister, Samantha, have never been apart from each other
since Samantha was born. Both their parents work so the two of them have been together in child care their whole lives. Today their mother drops Samantha off at the family care home. She and Mia go in to get Samantha settled and then it’s time for them to leave. It’s Mia’s first day at kindergarten. Mia and Samantha were both excited last night, but now that the reality is upon them, it’s a different story. Samantha pro- tests loudly and holds onto her mother, trying to keep her from going out the door. She hasn’t done that for years! Mia looks worried but walks out bravely. In the car, she looks upset and puts her thumb in her mouth. She hasn’t sucked her thumb since she was eight weeks old! Both girls seem to recognize this is a big transition in their lives—not just a one-time event but the beginning of a separation that will be ongo- ing. School lasts a very long time. Although neither of them fully comprehends that they’ll be grown up before they are finished with school and that they will never be in the same classroom together again, they do both sense that beginning today things will not be the same. Imagine their great relief when in the afternoon the child care provider goes to the school to pick up Mia along with the other school-age children in her home. The reunion of the two sisters is something to behold!