Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution
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As children begin to identify, acknowledge, and express their feelings, they also need practice to learn how to solve problems and resolve conflicts. Key to this process is not only actively facilitating problem resolution when conflicts are happening but also having intentional conversations with children about decision making when they are not.
First, discussion provides an opportunity to think objectively and dispassionately about the kinds of problems children have or might experience. Second, children develop a shared sense of responsibility and ownership over the process. Third, identifying typical problems and brainstorming solutions provide them with resourcesa “toolbox” of strategies they can draw from to try to solve problems themselves. Teachers need to keep in mind that there can be more than one appropriate response for a given situation and that children sometimes generate potential solutions that the teacher might not think of.
A teacher might encourage children to generate a list of scenarios and possibly useful strategies or solutions, writing them down on a chart posted in the classroom for future reference. For instance, to resolve conflicts over toys or other objects, the list of alternatives might include trading one object for another, asking to use the item when the child is finished, or asking to join the play and share. Later, when children are faced with a dilemma or conflict, those ideas can provide a place to start in solving the problem.
As with expressing feelings, adults can also help children learn to recognize good decisions by using instructive language that describes the choices they make; for example, saying, “I know you wanted the green marker very badly, but you made a good choice to ask your friend if you could use it when she was finished instead of taking it away from her.” Descriptive language helps children separate feelings from actions and understand that decisions have natural consequences that can be either positive or negative: “When you took the ball away from your friend, you made a bad choice because now your friend is upset and doesn’t want to play with you anymore; was there a better decision you could have made?”
In general, classrooms or care settings with a positive social/emotional climate have fewer confrontations, but young children do often have conflicts (Singer & DeHaan, 2007). Such conflicts typically focus on arguments about objects, physical encounters, entry to play, and ideas. There is wide consensus among constructivist theorists that conflict is a normal part of life which helps children learn about social and moral rules (Singer & DeHaan, 2007; Edwards, Gandini, & Forman, 1998). Teaching them to resolve conflict peacefully requires all of the above approachesmodeling, coaching, and direct teaching.
Some teachers use a process modeled after the Peace Table, a strategy first proposed by three-time Nobel Peace Prize winner Thomas Gordon (Teaching Tolerance Project, 2008). This process can be effectively used with young children because it gives them a concrete means for resolving conflicts. The principle behind the Peace Table is scaffoldingintentional assistance and modeling of a series of steps that the children gradually take over for themselves until they are able to solve a conflict unassisted and without prompting from an adult.
A place in the classroom is designated specifically for problem solving, with a place for two or more children to sit and a tool they can manipulate, such as a clock-face type of circle with movable hands to mark their progress through the series of steps listed below.
- Identify the problem.
- Teacher or child initiates mediation by inviting children to the Peace Table.
- Each child describes the problem.
- Teacher summarizes each child’s perspective using simple, clear language.
- As a group, children generate possible solutions. Teacher may offer prompts, but children’s ideas should be the focus of this step.
- Group agrees on a solution.
- Children offer one another a sign of friendship, such as a hug, to close the process.
- Teacher follows through by checking in with children to verify that the problem has been solved.
Table 9.4 documents how two children solved a problem using steps based on the Peace Table model.